What do you think of my poem?

I can't do anything right


Everything I do is wrong


Nothing I do is good enough


Was he right all along?





He always said I wouldn't make it


That I didn't stand a chance


That people would never notice me


They'd only steal a glance.





He said that I wouldn't add up to anything


And that my life doesn't matter


He was always putting me down


My hopes and dreams he'd shatter.





Over time I started to believe him


And think that he might be right


When he said I wasn't anything


So I left that very night.





I walked straight out the door


Off on my own way


Not knowing where I was going


For I had no place to stay.





I wondered what he'd do


When he saw that I wasn't there


I wondered if he'd worry


Or if he'd even care.





It doesn't matter anymore


Cause I'm away from that place


It's time to start a brand new life


With my old, familiar face.





I don't know if I should end it like that, or add something more to it. Please let me know what you think.

What do you think of my poem?
Seriously, you are very talented, I absolutely loved it, be careful putting stuff like that on here someone could steal it. But Yeah it doesn't seem to end there you are right. Keep it up you have a gift.........
Reply:i think thats very good. i write poems too kinda like you just writing to get the emotion out i guess. but its good. ur way better at the rhyming part than i am. :)
Reply:NATURAL TALENT~








EXELLENT!~





KEEP IT UP!!~





UR GOING TO BE VERY SUCCESSFUL!~





Sincerely Your Friend,





~FUZZ~
Reply:wow...It's a little depressing don't ya think...i'm sooo sleepy lolz ;b
Reply:Quit while you're ahead.
Reply:Emily,





As a poem, this meets my standards in that it rhymes and scans. Unlike much new these days that pretends to poetry but is just prose written without ordinary sentence and paragraph structure.





As for the message, very powerfull. There is too much domination. My way is better than yours. And not enough accommodation. Neither father, husband nor lover, has the right to stand between you and you aspirations: to denigrate your vision of your self. To do so, is the way of the tyrant, the control freak, the un-loving.





It is very difficult to reject the message of incompetence when delivered by someone you love. But, it is essential to do so in order to maintain your self identity.





If your poem is autobiographical, I wish you great success. If it is anecdotal, you have a very perceptive mind and talent for empathy, which will serve you well as an observer of the human condition.
Reply:It's very deep
Reply:Very Deep! I loved it!
Reply:wicked awesome, keep it like it is, leaves u wondering at the end
Reply:not bad
Reply:Go to honeydollfieldsforever.blogspot.com and tell me what you think.
Reply:Powerful. Now "if only" more people would truly walk away from people who verbally abused them, and walk back into their own lives, how happier alot of people would be.


Keep up the good work.
Reply:Leave it the way it its.
Reply:Boy can I relate ! Good job !
Reply:to long and specific... need to shorten and make the reader think... but good try...
Reply:Too long but very powerfull nontheless
Reply:It's good...keep me reading. Keep writing.
Reply:wonderful very very good!!
Reply:i love it! but if you really feel this way i am very sorry for you...anyways the poem is good..it's got emotions in it...
Reply:end it like that.. it leaves people guessing.
Reply:That's really good, I like your ending I think you should keep it like that. So this I gather is about your father? I'm sorry you had to go through this. Remember, we decide our own worth! Don't let someone else tell you what you can and can't do! Prove him wrong ok?


Kisses,


Sarah
Reply:its real good you should just end it there
Reply:Not bad and you are better off than with that loser. there are much better guys than that.
Reply:sounds like you cup is half empty. try adding some more to it or put your hand on top of it and flip it around so it will become half full
Reply:BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! that poem SUCKED EGGS! LOL! HOPE THIS HELPS! LOL!
Reply:It is a very good poem.
Reply:I think this poem should be turned around to the positive side. It really would sound better the other way around. Can't help but wonder the reasons behind this poem. All I can say is to feel good about yourself and don't let anyone put you down because no one should have to feel this way. Please change the poem around to positiveness.
Reply:thtas nice
Reply:I like certain stanzas. The final one is nice, and so is the fourth one.





I also think it's very literal, and would benefit from a little metaphor.





Brave of you to post your work here. Keep writing!
Reply:that is pathetic - I'm guessing you're 14 - am I right?