kepts me off the birth certificate, didn't let me know she was in labor so I could be there like I was with my son. Actually I didn't even find out she was born until five days had expired. Two weeks before I found out her name, which is different than my sons. Not allowed any visitation though I have court ordered visitation with the boy. The wheels of justice work slowly, and I feel I am missing out on precious bonding with my "little princess". She will probably be a year before I get any sort of visitation. My ex is not a nice person, but I got myself into this situation. How do I make up for lost time. I don't want to give my daughter the impression I love her brother more than her. I just have been there since the begining with him. She doesn't ever bring her when we do the exchange with the boy. I won't be a familiar face, or voice, nor will my family be to her either. I want to make this transition for her as little traumatizing as possible. Any suggestions on how to prepare?
I have two children, a boy 2 %26amp; 1/2, and a girl, 6 months. I have been a big part of the boys life, but my ex?
I'm so sorry to hear that. That's so not fair!!! There are so many loser dads in the world and here you are, a dedicated dad. I can't even begin to imagine how painful it would be having a beautiful little daughter and being denied to bond with her and share the precious moments that children bring.
I think that even though the 'wheels of justice' work slowly and you think she will be a year old until you can see her, somehow I don't think your daughter will mind. I also think she will see how comfortable her big brother is with you and she'll be ok. The way you feel about your children is special and I think because you care your daughter will love spending time with her dad. Good luck and take care.
Reply:Do you know for sure that the girl is yours? That would be the reason why she didnt notify you when she went into labor, unless you two were not talking or not dating...you could get a blood test, i dont know where you live but it would be easier to take her on Maury if you live in America since the process takes forever and he can get it done is like 3 days tops....one of my friends just got a paternity test done like 3 months ago, and still doesnt have the test results back..I would confront her on the subject and ask her if said daughter is yours, and if she says no then dont beat yourself up about it, but if she says yes then tell her that you have rights too!! but honestly if she has a different last name then your sons and its also different then your ex-s then it might not be your baby, if there is a slight chance tho, i would recommend a test....i hope you get this resolved and that it doesnt cause too many problems with you, also when the child gets older (if you are her dad) then she will resent her mom for keeping her from you for so long...
Reply:oh hell no she isn't. What a BIT**. Do you know how meany dads don't want anything to do with there kids. and you do, But no. I'm sorry that makes me mad really really MAD.
I would get a lawer and see if you can get this moving alittle faster. the younger the better but if she 1 bring her a teddy bear or a toy. Have that toy every time she see you so she knows that she'll be ok. oh hell give her a toy and buy her a new one every time. boy she'll love you for that.
Reply:I am so sorry you should not be denied your daughter, you seem like a good dad. Get a good lawyer quick, it will be worth the money in the long run. Best wishes
Reply:Insist on a paternity test ASAP.
If it is any comfort, babies have an amazing ability to recognize %26amp; respond to geniune love.
I adore children, and don't hold back, talking to babies likea complete idiot!
.I ask them questions %26amp; talk as if they are anwsering me :)
I always get a great response from them, and have gotten used to hearing that a parent is surprised how much the child likes me, will let me hold them/calm them when no one else outside of the family gets that response, etc.
I consider it a complement of the highest order.
(Despite Yahoo!'s screw up of my Avatar, I am female)
I've always loved and worked with children.
Even a baby can pick it up in your voice, eye contact, body language, and body tension/lack thereof when holding them.
My best advice to you would be to pray-for the baby to have a love for you %26amp; protection from Mama's bitter attitude. Also for Mama's heart to be softened, and for your own heart not to get bitter. You want to be an example in every way to your child when you finally get to spend time with her.
Use this as a time of preparation, legally, practically, and spiritually. That is what you can do about it while you wait for the wheels of Justice to do their thing.
Also, never, ever say anything negative to any of your children about thier Mom, no matter how wicked she is. Allow them to figure it out on thier own, they eventually will , and they will respect you %26amp; understand what genuine love for them prompted you to not bad-mouth her. Psychologically, they will not be able to even begin to examine this issue until they are adults %26amp; no longer depending on her for the sense of security, safety, and all that goes with the territory of being a child in the care of someone who may be trying to turn them against you %26amp; otherwise not raising them with thier best interests at heart. Children in this situation are forced to fall back on denial as a way to survive in a situation in which they are at the mercy of the parent in the home.Be the hero in this situation, you'll always be glad you took the high road, so will your kids.
Best of wishes to all of you.Take care of yourself too, get some supportive counseling as you go through these trials.
Reply:Geez, what a B.I. she is being. Now, I'm a little confused here. If you are the father of both the children, then why do you have visitation with the boy and not the girl? The only way I think that is possible is if she is saying that maybe the girl is not yours and the courts are going by that and not letting you see her until like a blood test is done or something. Anyway, your question... I don't think that there is a way to prepare her because the mother is not even giving you an inch to work with. But, you know, kids adapt to transition so well, I really wouldn't be too worried about it. Maybe the first couple of visits, she'll be a little weary about who you are, but they always say that they are attracted to their own blood. I wouldn't worry too much about it. It would be different if years has gone by and you trying to do this. But a year is not that bad. Of course, I do feel bad for you because so many things happen in their first year that you are missing out on because of the B.I., but once you get visitation rights, you can start making beautiful memories then. I don't think in this situation you can make up for lost time. Just look to the future because she's not letting you do anything about the past and present, ...witch. Hope the best for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment