What do you think of this?

She indulged herself in paper dolls,


pop outs from birthdays cards, and colorforms.


But her most prized creations were the billowing dresses


and loose hair that blew across a sketchpad.





She had hoped the same for her daughter, but today we have virtual worlds with one click color schemes. Everyone eventually looks the same, devoid of touch, thought, and originality.





A face can easily be familiar, yet washed of anything we could remember,


as even Barbie has been placed upon a shelf,


and dancing divas don the styles of the streets, and all that follows-


At least they won't be left to trail off in the wind, when childhood has run its course.

What do you think of this?
This is a melancholy and insightful perspective. I love the lines "But her most prized possessions were the billowing dresses and loose hair that blew across a sketchpad"- they remind me of my own childhood passion. Thank you.
Reply:I like it. It is sad that children now can go to a computer and be creative instead of using paper and crayons, or whatever.





Don't worry about rhyming your poem, not every poem has to rhyme; not even just a little bit. That is the beauty of free verse.
Reply:I like it, though you could try to rhyme it just a little. That would give it more character, and make it more interesting. You don't have to rhyme it all the way though, just some. People get tired of the rhymed ones.
Reply:Very lamentable, you made this poem feel so sad, and rightly so, because it is so sad. I liked the irony of the last line quite a bit.
Reply:I love it. Its so true....ahh i wish i could write good poetry
Reply:I think you have mastered how to avoid making free-form poetry into a piece of prose. This reads very well





But, I am going to argue with you. In my early life all teenagers tried to look like each other whilst fondly believing they were deviating from the norm. (the teddy boy era).


To-day you can be as different in your dress as you want. From my window I see pass by every variation you can imagine of teenage fashion......and at 64 I too dress how I want - usually jeans, tee-shirts, trainers that sort of look.





The more I read your poem the better it becomes. Well done.


ps - I don't really understand the last line, but who cares!

dental dam